You Know You're Addicted To Survivor When

When you lose a game of pick-up basketball, you turn to your teamates and dejectedly say
"Well, I guess we're gonna have to hike up to Tribal Council tonight."

Your friends begin to wonder why you always say "I like you guys...but not in a homosexual way."

When your math teacher threatens to kick you out of class for talking to much, you proudly shoot back "You can't. I have immunity."

You buy a Canadian Alliance membership since "the only people who ever win are those in an alliance."

When giving out your phone number, you give people your cell number, pager number, and coconut phone number.

When someone tells you you're going on a picnic, you immediately assume that all you'll be eating are Doritos and Mountain Dew.

You scour the local health food store for chicken feed.

You deliberately cook all your rice mushy because you know it will "piss Jerri off".

Whenever your girlfriend so much as mentions chocolate, you stand up and shout "The Colbster (or Danster, or Jamester or whatever your name is) is not a Hershey Bar!!!"

You throw buckets of water on people you don't like.

You justify all your actions by saying: "It's what Mike would have wanted us to do."

You think the Gore-Bush deadlock should have been decided on "previous votes."

At 12:50 every day, you announce: "The tribe has spoken. It's time to go...to Biology."

You plant beef jerkey in your friends backpack and when he leaves you tell people that you think he's been smuggling jerkey "behind our backs."

You find the mere mention of beef jerkey funny.

When voting in the provincial election voting booth, you neatly print "RALPH" on your ballot, then hold it up and say: "Ralph, if you were dying of thirst in the..."

You force yourself to watch VH1 Rock 'N Roll jeopardy just to see more of Jeff Probst.

Whenever you use a candle snuffer, you insist on saying: "The tribe has spoken."

You get the innexplicable urge to wave your finger in the face of any vegetarians you know.

You no longer talk to anyone you know named Jerri.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Survivor.